After The Launch
by CaptainRiskyBiscuits
Summary: Simon sits in the Pilot Seat at Phi. The Ark has been launched, and Catherine is dead. All he has left is one final decision.


Simon sat and watched as the dust drifted by, carried along in the stilling currents of the Pacific Ocean. He could still faintly hear the rattling of the barrel that had launched the space bullet along with the Ark only moments ago. That, and the rhythmic hiss of his own artificial respiration, were the only sounds left now.

He stared at the empty screen of the Omni Tool. Waiting for a flicker, a spark, any sign that Catherine might still be there. That perhaps he could bring her back; save her from the eternal nothingness of death. Then he remembered that she had already been saved; her copy was on the Ark after all, as was his.

But that wasn't the point. He didn't want to bring her back for her own sake, but for his. It hadn't been more than a handful of minutes since she'd died, and already he could feel the silence begin to envelop him. By now it had become heavier than the ocean itself; not even the pressure suit could keep it from crushing him under its immense weight.

His thoughts began to spiral. For a brief moment he realised that he would be alone for the rest of his indeterminately short life. As far as he knew, he was the only human sentience left on the entire planet. He pushed the thought away quickly; it was simply too terrifying for him to comprehend. He would surely go mad right there in the pilot seat if he allowed himself to dwell on it.

There had to be a way to get Catherine back. Perhaps it was only the Omnitool that broke, maybe the cortex chip that held her consciousness was still intact. And even if it wasn't, there had to be another copy of her scan somewhere in Pathos II. All he had to do was find it, install it onto a blank cortex chip and plug it into a new Omnitool. He'd seen plenty of them lying around during his journey from Upsilon. So perhaps getting Catherine back wouldn't be so difficult after all. Perhaps he wouldn't have to spend his last moments in the decaying ruins of Pathos II completely alone. Surely the universe couldn't be so cruel as to allow such a terrible fate to befall him.

As soon as his optimism began to stir, it was washed away by the heavy realisation that there was no way he'd be able to get out of Phi. Even if he could get back to the elevator without being torn apart by one of the WAU's creatures, there's no way he could operate it without Catherine.

So what else? Perhaps there was some way to bring her back at Phi? He was certain he'd seen an Omnitool around somewhere, hadn't he? And although the last place he'd seen a cortex chip was TAU, there surely had to be one at Phi too. He had to believe there would be, it was the only hope he had.

But then again, even if he did bring Catherine back, what then? The world was dead. The entire fucking world. Was talking to a sentient computer monitor until his battery ran dry really the best possible outcome he could hope for? Was that all that was left for him?

In that moment, he so sorely wished he could have lived out his past life in Toronto. Back then he'd had friends, work colleagues, neighbours, given some time he could even have found himself a partner. For all he knew his past self had. Perhaps he'd even got married. If only he hadn't met Dr. Munshi and taken that brain scan, if only he hadn't made that first coin toss that brought him to Pathos II. He would give anything to be back home. But instead he was here, waiting to die alone at the bottom of the ocean, stuck inside the headless corpse of some woman he'd never met. In truth, he was already dead.

He felt a sudden feverish urge to kill himself. He grasped for the arm piece of his power suit and braced himself to press the release button, knowing that the weight of the ocean would instantly crush his cortex chip and invade the soft, putrefying flesh of the body that wasn't really his; tearing it to shreds within a matter of seconds. He sat with his hand on the arm piece for some time, tracing the release button with his thumb, waiting for the uneasy tightening in his chest to lessen, and for his resolve to overcome his innate sense of self preservation. He had to do it, there was nothing for him down here. Why couldn't he just press the release? For whatever reason he just couldn't shake the terror he felt, facing the end of his entire universe. He couldn't help but question to himself what his last sensation would be. Would he feel the weight of the water as it came swarming into his helmet? Would he be able to hear the circuitry inside his mechanical head fracture and burst? Would he even remain conscious long enough to comprehend that he'd pressed the button? He was unsure of whether it'd be better to know he was dying, or to die too quickly to know anything.

After some time, he let go of the release button. He couldn't kill himself, Not yet. As foolish as it might be, he still had too much hope for the future. Maybe things could be better, he thought. If he could somehow escape Phi and bring Catherine back, maybe she could get them both into that prototype of the Ark she'd built back at Theta. No matter how unfinished, it surely couldn't be worse that being stuck in PATHOS II. Of course, it'd be another coin toss; a fifty-fifty chance that he'd be the version of himself to successfully enter the Ark prototype. And even if he did achieve continuity, there would still be a version of himself stuck at Phi. No matter how many copies he made, part of him would never, ever be free.

Simon sat and watched as the dust drifted by, carried by the stilling currents of the Pacific Ocean. Thoughts rolled in his head like waves on the shore. A moment of optimism would be swept away by a moment of despair, which would then be swept away by another moment of fleeting hope. The confusion was overwhelming. He simply couldn't make sense of the situation. Perhaps he might've vomited, or burst into hysteric tears, if he was still capable of doing either.

Simon wasn't sure how much time had passed. But eventually he decided to stand up. He felt heavier than he had ever felt in his life. He looked to the catwalk, and with no particular plan in mind, started to walk the long walk back to the elevator. His fingers back at the release button of his pressure suit; toying with it anxiously. He would make a decision soon enough. And if not, it wouldn't be long before it was made for him.

End.

*The idea for this story is something I thought about for a good while after completing SOMA. As I'm sure most players did; I couldn't help but wonder what the fate of Simon #3 would be once the screen faded to black. Admittedly my interpretation is pretty dismal, but then, maybe I'm not imaginative enough to think up a more positive outcome!*

*Any Feedback would be appreciated, positive or negative. Thanks for reading my first FanFic!*


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